I haven't

I haven't felt beautiful in awhile.
It's like I can only hold myself up.
If someone else is trying to, I just fall down deeper.
The last few days have been off.
Things dont line up, my emotions are out of whack.
Everything seems turned upside down.
I think about the past and it just messes up my future.
Its like nothing can ever go right for me, the second it feels like its finally going to break
and be right, it really does break.

I don't know what I want in my life.
I don't have a goal. Like some high as the stars goal like being a doctor, lawyer, or amazing artist.
I'm so backwards.
I feel useless, like I'm never going to get out of this wholesome, invisible and unheard person.
I haven't even created any of my own art in months.
I haven't done any photoshoots, or painting, or drawing.
I feel so lifeless.
I hope this is just because of the weather.

I guess I'm just never happy.
42 days left of this semester.
Then into the work force for the summer.

There's always tomorrow.